Wednesday, October 10, 2012

lesson learned; it is not productive to get MAD

Ok...i have a confession to make.  Last week I got MAD at Beau (my husband and parenting partner of almost 20 years, and my best friend).  I got totally fed up.  I'm not perfect and neither is he.  I was determined to get his attention and make him wake up and change.  How did I decide to accomplish this...I took the twins to the beach, by myself.  I was going to let him experience what life would be without me and the twins.  Of course, I left Quinn the 13 y/o with him and Cole is at boarding school. 

WHAT WAS I THINKING???  I had planned to leave Thursday afternoon and return home Monday afternoon.  I ended up leaving Friday am.  After 2 and 1/2 NONSTOP days with 2 very active, happy, strong willed 5 year olds (who wake up at 0630)...I came home Sunday afternoon.  I'm not sure what Beau learned (though he said he missed us very much).  But I learned that I do not want to be a single parent, that what is a game breaker has not happened, and that my husband is a great (if not perfect) guy.  I also realised how very far I fall short of who I want to be, who my husband and children need me to be, and that Beau has always been in my corner. 

I don't know if he will change any of the behaviors that made me mad.  But I am working on changing me (the only person that I can actually change).  My limits as a parent and wife are greater than i thought, I will not be a single parent (unless by death), that I am blessed with happy, healthy, smart kids!


PS  the twins had a fabulous time at the beach, we played frisbeen, went hunting for sea shells, found hermit crabs, made friends, swam, played in hot tub, hiked, danced, and PLAYED HARD.  I had more stamina than I knew :)

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