Thursday, August 27, 2009


For any of you who have read my posts this year, this will probably not come as a surprise, but I have been having "issues". I'm irritable and agitated most of the time, especially my pms time... Several friends have suggested I go see my doctor and get on some medicine or happy pills... I have resisted this prompting for over a year. I know so many people on "something" I had to wonder, is this all really necessary. Also, I all ready take several rx meds for my diabetes and hypothyroidism so I didn't really want to take more meds... I haven't had a good night sleep since the 3rd trimester of my twin pregnancy (I was on ambien). I do not have any of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, so sharing my faith would be a little, umm what shall I say, you want what I have... but who would want to have my anger, frustration, irritation, agitation, impatience...where is my peace, patience, gentleness, love... no one is attracted to my fruit.

Well after a complete meltdown last week (over not being able to find shoes for Kade...among other things) I decided to ask my husband if he thought I needed medicine...his answer was a very definitive, resounding...YES. When asked why he hadn't said something, he replied "I didn't want to make you angry" Well I went to the MD today. I started my new med today and he also gave me something to help me sleep. Praise God, I can't wait to go to be tonight! Beau will be glad to not be woken up to turn over (he snores loudly) or to rub my back (because I have been awake for 2 hours and can't sleep).

I just thought in all honesty and transparency that I should share that parenting a 14 y/o "man", and 10 y/o boy and 2 toddlers is exhausting, constant, demanding, and not usually very rewarding. I have not handled it well and finally realized that if something didn't change soon, I may permanently damage the spirits and emotions of my precious and much loved children.

I will keep my blog updated with my progress with my "psychotic behavior" as I call it and will hopefully begin to start producing the fruits that God wants to see in my life.


Jan W. Bennett said...

Well, it's only been about 4 days, probably too soon to tell if the meds are working. But I'll bet the sleeping meds worked instantly. I hope so anyway. I don't see how you function at times. I took Jace-daniel shoe shopping Saturday. We had to make 6 stops. OMG! Couldn't get any help from the sales clerks. So by the time I had waited forever and he was tired of sitting in his stroller and wanted out, I unstrapped him and he helped himself to the shoes on the sale racks, pulling them all off as fast as he could. HE KNOWS HOW TO GET THE CLERKS OVER TO HELP US! By the time we finally found shoes, I was beat, I couldn't imagine having 2 that age. I was so frazzled by the time I got home. And yes, the meds ARE NECESSARY!!!!!!!! They definately keep you from committing a felony. Well, take care of yourself, hope you get good results and life gets easier. Take care. Lovya, Jan

Jodi Lyn said...

thanks jan, it is exhausting, but no help for

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