More smiles and twins are hard

it's a little blurry, but it is so hard to capture her smile on camera...you have to sneak up from the side
this is how I rock them both at the same time. they are very fussy in the evening, so this is the usual. It's very hard to fix dinner like this...
this is the best picture of Elizabeth's smile, but it still doesn't do her justice
this is what we usually get when we try to take a picture of Elizabeth. She just stares at the camera...

Well, it has been a difficult week. They are not napping well and I'm not getting anything done. I find it so frustrating stuck in a chair holding babies and seeing everything that needs to be done (like picking up trash on the floor, dust, cobwebs on the chandelier, dirty baseboards) things that you wouldn't normally notice, but because you can't get up and the remote is lost you just look around and notice everything. Of course, I could try to tell Cole and Quinn to do it, but I swear that is like talking to a hearing impaired person, who can't read lips. They can look at me smile, nod their head and then do the opposite of what I said. Beau isn't much better. I think it is a male thing. Maybe that tail that they are missing on the Y chromosome is what causes the selected hearing loss. Or maybe I harp so much that they have tuned me out in self defense. But the frustration builds and no one cares...

Having two babies is a blessing. I have to remind myself that. I have friends with fertility problems, who would love to be in my shoes. They probably wouldn't notice the dirt and if they did, wouldn't care. Would sit there holding these two beautiful miracles and just be grateful. Sometimes I am there, but lately I'm not. Maybe I need to focus on my blessings more!!! Everything is harder with two. I want to do so much, and wake up in the morning feeling so full of energy and I make all of these plans in my head that I'm going to accomplish today.... I do one or two and am completely exhausted. Planning a trip to the store, or a friends, or to visit their Nonna. Packing the diaper bag... twice as many diapers, extra outfits, tons of burp cloths (Elizabeth has reflux and vomits often!!!) two different formulas and make sure they are labeled!, bottled water etc. etc. etc. Oh and make sure there a extra pacifiers!

I so much want to reenter my life. I miss singing in the choir and think about going to practice. I have to return to work in 5 days. Wondering how that will work. Breast feed both in the am, and then choose just one in the evening, because I only have enough milk for one in the evening(if I don't get off early, praying I get off early every day until they are 6 months...this is a bit unrealistic) Wanting to go to church, planning on going to church...and just not getting it together, or not having the energy to get it together to go. Planning an fabulous dinner, and burning it because one or both needed immediate attention. They are twice the joy and they are twice the unexpected vomit, poop, and crying.

PS they are both sleeping 6.5 - 8 hours a night consistently! Thank you Jesus!
Elizabeth weighs 10# 6.5 ounces and Kade weighs over 11#